You believe your partner is having extramarital affair with someone else, but there is just no proof to justify that - and you don’t know how to find that proof.

What, When and Where is he actually doing it - and with who?

Before you go any further though, realise that who he is cheating with might not be as important as looking for a solution in the first place. That other woman may just take a role of ‘the other woman’ or the role of ‘his escape’ from the marriage problem HE may be having.

However, I must admit it is not up to anyone else to decide what you really need to know of this extramarital affair. So if this is for your peace of mind, go on and find out.

1. Who is she?

This is the first clue you want to find out. In fact, once you have a good idea on who the third party he is having his extramarital affair with, it is easier to guess on where and when the affair actually take place.

Ok, how would you find out?

You can put down few names that he has mentioned recently (especially female names). There will only be a few - and no doubt he has mentioned these names in conversation before. At the start of the affair, he wouldn’t have covered it up in any way - as normally affair is unplanned.

Normally the person he has an affair with has something in common with him - at least enough to entice his ‘excitement’ brain. This will make him blurt out her name subconsciously anyhow.

Note: It’s better if you don’t freak out or show your suspicion to him too much otherwise he would be much more careful in blurting out her name.

3. What is it they’re doing

There must be things that they do - that you don’t normally do with your spouse - the things that they have in common. Of course, as it is an extramarital affair there would be some physical intimacy involved some other times too.

This can be activity such as motorbike riding, sport, music, books, chess or even dancing (If they work together than their work activity can be used as the connector/the thing in common).

3. Where is it?

If you have a rough idea on what he normally enjoys doing you will be able to guess it. There is a few rules associated with this including the 50 mile rule: make sure you do it 50 mile away, and the ‘dangerous is safe’ rule: the more dangerous it seems the safer it would be (This means he will actually meet his other woman in YOUR area - or if you live with him he’ll meet his other woman in your place).

He can also meet her around their workplace if they work together.

4. When they are doing it?

Some women would ask me now: “If he dares to do it in MY OWN place - I live with him, WHEN?” especially if you’re hardly on holidays.

If he hasn’t been doing it, you’ll notice soon he will ask you many questions around your schedule - or if he doesn’t, he probably already knows your schedule off by heart. If he lives with you for a while now, he would have a good idea as well which ones of your schedule will be fixed, and which ones are ‘tentative’.

Whether you like it or not, you will have fixed schedule such as ‘working late every Wednesday night’ or ‘Go out with the girls every Thursday night’. Some of them you just cannot get out of and he will use this very time to meet his significant other.